Some of the Greatest Disappointments in my Life...

Some of the Greatest Disappointments in my Life...

This list is in no particular order. Well, OK. It's the order that these things happened to pop into my little brain. But that does not reflect anything more than the way my puny brain works.

1) Alfa Romeo Spider. Ever since I first saw a picture of this car, I coveted it. I know the technology is old. It doesn't go that fast. It's an automotive anachronism. But I thought they were sex on wheels! It was an amazing thing to behold. Finally, I got my chance to drive it. What a dud! The frame was weak. Much too weak to support the five mile an hour bumpers that were slapped on to either end. I'm just glad the thing didn't snap in two before we finished the test drive.

2) The Mazariti Bi-Turbo. OK, it's another Italian Car. Yes, there is a pattern here. This car is also a wonder to behold. It's even an amazing vehicle to drive when it's working. The problem is these poor cars are so prone to entropy they will disintegrate right in front of you. However, I did find one super clean and amazing example of a Bi-turbo that was for sale. I took the thing for a test drive. It had to be the greatest drive of my life. The clutch was like butter and yet super precise. The speed. The burble of the engine. It was too die for. Why is it on this list of disappointments you ask? Because the asking price DID NOT include the Mazariti mechanic that owned the vehicle.

3) Caviar. I think the reason rich people like it is to test you. How much to do you want to be in the in crowd? Do you want it bad enough to pretend this stuff is good? YUCK! Not me.

4) Live concerts. Ok, in the spirit of full disclosure, I have been to some really amazing live concerts. However, the first time I went to a concert I was supper depressed. I expected to have some kind of super natural communion with the artist. When I was leaving the show and this "moment" never happened... I wondered why I bothered to go in the first place.

5) Lincoln Center. Speaking of live concerts... stay away from Lincoln Center unless you like to sit in the first five rows. The acoustics in this place is so bad you get a better sound stage from a transistor radio.

6) Eggleston Speakers. I'm sure you know I love the photography of William Eggleston. Well, his sons started a speaker business. I was totally psyched to hear their speakers. Well, when I found a dealer that sold Eggleston Works I went right in for a test drive. Not only were the speakers to trebly but they blew up during my demo. Yup! That's right... they blew up. The tweeter just exploded and there were little bits of the tweeter paper all over the room.

7) Every Jaguar I’ve ever driven. They don’t call Luther the Prince of Darkness for nothing… enough said!

8) Owning my own business. Don’t get me wrong… there were a lot of great things about being the boss. But that was the problem. Since you were the boss, there was no one to blame when things didn’t go right.

9) Being in management. I thought when I was in management I would be able to fix the world and make sure things were done right (or least the things where I worked.) HA! Was I naive.

10) Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas – the Movie version. I love the Hunter S. Thompson book. I’ve read it over and over and over again and every time I read it – it makes me laugh out loud. But the movie just hit a wrong cord with me. The ironic thing is that movie was an extremely faithful adaptation of the book. The narrator quotes longs passages of the book. The problem is that seeing the real effects of such drug over use is just painful. When you read the book, you can imagine a Road Runner-like cartoon. But when you see real people really getting hurt… it’s just not funny.

11) Tori Amos’ second album and every album after that. I loved Little Earthquakes… her first album. The lyrics of every song (except one) just resonated with my spirit. She is also a pretty amazing piano player and has a cool voice. Too bad so much of her stuff sucks.