More Sex Talk

More Sex Talk

This might seem like two sex related posts in a row. But, it's really not. This is actually going to be a rant about how doctor's devalue the experience of their patients and how demoralizing that can be. However, if topics like uterine placement and words like speculum make you nervous... feel free to skip this post.

So, earlier this week I went for my PAP. I've been remiss because this was the first PAP I've had since I moved to VA (going on two years now.) I'm not particularly worried because I've always been extremely faithful in the past and I've never had an abnormal PAP... so it's most likely OK that I took a year off (so to speak.)

This did mean that I was seeing a brand new doctor who knew nothing about me. In the beginning interview, I explained to her that I have a "tilted uterus" (whatever that means) and my cervix is extremely hard to visualize. She said, very smugly, "Oh really." I went on to say that if she had any special tricks she used for difficult cases she should use them today. I told her I've had some pretty painful exams because of this.

I tried to keep the conversation a little on the light side, so I told her about one time when I had a student nurse practitioner try to find it... that hurt like hell!

She gave me a side-ways glance. She didn't believe me. I could see it all over her face... She was going to prove me wrong. She opened her drawer and took out what I thought was a tiny, toy speculum model. "I like to use these because they're more comfortable." she said.

I just rolled my eyes. She was totally and completely dismissing me. I mean this is MY body! And the funny thing is... it's not like I was asking her to do something off beat or untested for my personal comfort. True, my personal comfort was my ultimate goal, but goodness, I wasn't trying to diagnosis anything or tell her that she was doing something wrong... I was just trying to give her a head's up. It's like when the nurse comes in to take blood -- I always point out which arm has the better veins. I don't see how what I said was any different. Why is it that doctors always assume they know everything?

So how did this all end up... she pinched me. She scratched me. She poked and pulled and pushed and manipulated and tilted. Finally, as the tears were rolling down my checks she discarded the little toy thingy and got a regular one.

When it was all over, I said, "I guess you can see why that student nurse practitioner has been seared into my memory."

"You're certainly not a teaching case." she said. That's it! No --> I'm sorry for putting you through this. No --> I should have listened to you. Nothing!!! And she was a WOMAN too! I just don't get it.