The Eucharist

The Eucharist

I grew up in a church where only ordained ministers could bless the sacraments. Anyone in the church could serve the bread and wine, but only those ordained by God and by man could actually consecrate the elements. This belief was held so strongly, that in the days of the circuit riders – when many churches would go weeks without having an ordained minister present for services – they would practice what’s called a Love Feast. A Love Feast is very much like communion, but the Eucharistic Liturgy isn’t read and the elements are not consecrated.

When I first started attending my current home church, I was startled to discover that many weeks the Eucharist is performed by normal, ordinary, lay folk. I was troubled by this for about 45 – 90 seconds. Then it dawned on me that Jesus never said, “When an ordained minister is available do this in remembrance of me.” In fact, our current practice of the Eucharist is almost completely man-made. I say “almost” because I believe that God’s will is totally infused and inseparable from the act of communion, but the exact “rules” were the interpretation of men. So, I calmed down and felt more comfortable with the tradition of my church.

Until today… Today, because of a completely unplanned turn of events I found myself performing the Eucharist. I found out only minutes before the liturgy was to be read. Mics were being swapped mid-service. I was totally unprepared for this. But, maybe it was better that way.

As I approached the table and heard myself reading the words, I became filled with panic – who was I to be doing this? I became acutely aware of my sinful nature and my unworthiness. I’m not talking about self-esteem issues here or modern psychobabble like, “I’m OK, You’re OK.” This was a keen awareness that in the grand scheme of things, in the big picture… at the feet of God, I was nothing more than an unworthy, sinful, soul -- a selfish mortal that deserved eternity in hell. There was a spot light shining in my eyes. All I could see before me was darkness. In the pit of my stomach there was a sensation beyond words, a sensation that this darkness could be the whole of my existence.

People started to come forward to receive the elements. Their heads were bowed and their hands cupped to touch – to hold the Body of Christ. I couldn’t see their faces because of the spot light. The few faces that I could glimpse in the darkness were distorted and fuzzy because I was squinting and my eyes were watery. But their hands were clear. Their hands were out stretched and waiting to receive God. Each time I placed a piece of bread on their hands and repeated the words, “The body of Christ, the bread of Heaven.” I felt warmth in my heart. Yes, I was unworthy. Yes, I was a sinner. But God loved me. He loved each of these people in front me.

Since I was a child, I had been taught that God loved us and salvation was ours for the asking. Today God revealed to me the amazing truth and awesome depth of his love. It was all there for me, I just had to reach out my hand and ask Him to give it to me.