It's hard to be a mom.
Why aren't moms given x-ray vision and the ability to do a Vulcan Mind Meld when they get all the other special mom powers like making milk? Frankly, I don't really care about the x-ray vision as much as the mind melding stuff.
When the kids are little babies it would be helpful to know exactly what the crying was intended to communicate. Is it a dirty diaper, an upset stomach, or maybe just an empty stomach. But now that Elizabeth is six, I wish I could read her mind even more.
It's not that I want to spy on her secret life. I respect her right to privacy, but I guess it would be kinda fun to really know what's she's thinking about the boy in her class that she says is cute. EKK! Wait a minute... Strike that. It might actually be scary.
Anyway right now, what I really want to know is there something bothering her, and if there is... what should I do about it. You see she has suddenly started having a lot of stomach aches. The week between Christmas and New Years she spent a couple of nights hunched over a pot on my bed while I held her hair back because she thought she was going to puke. Nothing more than some whimpering occurred, but she was clearly distressed.
I took her to the doctor and he suggested she needed more fiber in her diet and that she might have acid reflux. I bought the obligatory prunes and filled the prescription for the acid reducer... but she is still having stomach aches. More importantly, she seems like something is bothering her.
Sometimes she says the kids at school tease her and make fun of her. Sometimes she talks about being upset that Gaby (her au pair) is married and leaving next month. Sometimes she tells me that she misses her daddy and wants us to get married again. Failing that she wants me to marry anyone so she can have a daddy and possibly a new baby brother or sister. Other times she says she's scared of her dad and refuses to talk to him on the phone.
About 18 months ago I took her to see a licensed clinical social worker for a "check-up". I wanted to make sure I hadn't left her with scars her for the rest of life, at least not yet. We were both given a clean bill of mental health. Since I don't anticipate developing the Vulcan Mind Meld abilities anytime soon; I guess it's time for another check-up.
posted by Liz at 8:26 PM
4 Comments:
wow... you have so much more responsibility than me... my concerns really seem insignificant to raising a child. You must have to do a lot of surrendering of her mind and heart to God since there are so few things we can do to keep children from mental and emotional distress. I had troubling childhood with my peers and I feel for Elizabeth being picked on. I do actually feel that I really only began to heal greatly from parts of the imact only 2 years ago.. but I really have began to heal. So she can too! Although I might have been better altogether if kids hadn't picked on me at all.
This may be a weird thing to say, but I'm surprised she's made fun of at school. She seems like a kid everyone would want to be friends with -- beautiful, confident, fun, etc. Kids (and adults?) are so horrible sometimes.
My heart hurts for you, Liz. You must feel so helpless sometimes. I'll pray her stomach eases and she shares with you anything that might be troubling her.
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