Whew!
It's annual review time at work.
Man how I hate this. I hate having to try and judge people in fair and objective ways... knowing that in a lot of ways there is no fair and objective measure and in some ways this will have absolutely no impact on their life but in other ways I have the power to make or break a career (or at least derail it pretty badly.) But what's even worse is getting my own performance review.
I have absolutely no self-confidence. Every year since I started my career more than 15 years ago... review time is exactly the same. My boss puts the meeting on my calendar. I try to ignore it. At first I do. But as the meeting time inches ever closer I get more and more nervous until... I'm a puking, nervous, bundle of good for nothing quivering putty on the floor. When the meeting time finally arrives (and it's never soon enough and always too soon) I go to the meeting and find out that I'm exceeding expectations in every conceivable measure. I walk out of the meeting -- totally exhausted, completely useless for the rest of the day, and so relieved that I swear to myself I will NOT do that to myself ever again.
Every year has been exactly the same. Every year that is -- until last year. Last year my review was abysmal. There were a lot of factors for this. I've shared the details of my story with many of my friends, but given that I don't want to risk having to shield myself under the "whistle blower" law... I'm not going to get into those details. Let's just say, I've spent a better part of the last year researching said whistle blower laws and some of my issues have been discussed in such places as The Wall Street Journal and congress.
So this year, as my review approached the puking, quivering, and puttifing were at an all time high. This year, I couldn't even comfort myself by saying, "Heck, every other year has been just fine... calm down, silly girl." No, that was not available to me this year.
But, I'm happy (and a bit surprised) to report that this year my review went like the previous 14 plus reviews. It's like last year never happened. Tomorrow, I can go to work for the first time in over a year without the very real fear that it will be my last day on the job. How cool is that!
In other news, I was gearing up to give my admin a "does not meet expectations" rating on her review. It was killing me, because I know how awful it feels. But it doesn't do any good to lie to her... It doesn't help her grow and it certainly doesn't help me get my job done. Well, she called out sick every day last week. This morning she left a message that she was running late and would come in around noon. At 11:30 I got an email from her. She quit. That was it. Bye-bye.
There is a stack of work piling up on her desk. Expense reports... travel arrangements... supplies to order... documents to file... all of the reviews for my department to prepare for HR... UGH! It's always something.
Man how I hate this. I hate having to try and judge people in fair and objective ways... knowing that in a lot of ways there is no fair and objective measure and in some ways this will have absolutely no impact on their life but in other ways I have the power to make or break a career (or at least derail it pretty badly.) But what's even worse is getting my own performance review.
I have absolutely no self-confidence. Every year since I started my career more than 15 years ago... review time is exactly the same. My boss puts the meeting on my calendar. I try to ignore it. At first I do. But as the meeting time inches ever closer I get more and more nervous until... I'm a puking, nervous, bundle of good for nothing quivering putty on the floor. When the meeting time finally arrives (and it's never soon enough and always too soon) I go to the meeting and find out that I'm exceeding expectations in every conceivable measure. I walk out of the meeting -- totally exhausted, completely useless for the rest of the day, and so relieved that I swear to myself I will NOT do that to myself ever again.
Every year has been exactly the same. Every year that is -- until last year. Last year my review was abysmal. There were a lot of factors for this. I've shared the details of my story with many of my friends, but given that I don't want to risk having to shield myself under the "whistle blower" law... I'm not going to get into those details. Let's just say, I've spent a better part of the last year researching said whistle blower laws and some of my issues have been discussed in such places as The Wall Street Journal and congress.
So this year, as my review approached the puking, quivering, and puttifing were at an all time high. This year, I couldn't even comfort myself by saying, "Heck, every other year has been just fine... calm down, silly girl." No, that was not available to me this year.
But, I'm happy (and a bit surprised) to report that this year my review went like the previous 14 plus reviews. It's like last year never happened. Tomorrow, I can go to work for the first time in over a year without the very real fear that it will be my last day on the job. How cool is that!
In other news, I was gearing up to give my admin a "does not meet expectations" rating on her review. It was killing me, because I know how awful it feels. But it doesn't do any good to lie to her... It doesn't help her grow and it certainly doesn't help me get my job done. Well, she called out sick every day last week. This morning she left a message that she was running late and would come in around noon. At 11:30 I got an email from her. She quit. That was it. Bye-bye.
There is a stack of work piling up on her desk. Expense reports... travel arrangements... supplies to order... documents to file... all of the reviews for my department to prepare for HR... UGH! It's always something.
posted by Liz at 10:30 PM
6 Comments:
I am SOOOO glad your review went sooo well.
and I bet your admin knew it was coming!
GREAT JOB!
What a relief on your review! Yay! And I'm praying that, once you've worked through the immediate mess, you'll find that your admin doing what she did was a relef as well. Something similar happened to me once, and once I realized I now had the freedom to hire someone who would potentially do a much, much better job (which is in fact what happened), I was grateful.
Peace,
Mike
For me (back when I was in management), it was always a guilty pleasure when the troublesome (whether underperformers, lazy or incompetent) would save me the grief and quit. One of the worst (work) days of my life was when I had to actually fire someone after going through a fairly long and utterly completely ineffectual improvement program.
I feel for you!
Hallelujah!!! I'm so glad you're review went well.
Seems to me that your admin knew the shoe was about to drop and was out job hunting. She may have been a lousy admin, but was obviously no dummy ;-) Now you can hire someone who will work well with you ... hooray!!!
Yep. And she quit without you having to give the face-to-face bad news. Yuk!
Wow. Surprise ending!
Glad things are evening out for you.
God bless.
Post a Comment
<< Home