The Au Pair That Just Won't Leave...
Andrea has been back from her vacation for almost a month now. The first day back I told her that I decided to stop using an au pair. The au pair agency allows the girls two weeks to attempt to find another assignment before they send them home. Usually when an au pair is in transition it is because there was a fall out with the host family and the host family is getting a replacement au pair. In these cases, the girl has to move out of the home where she is staying and bunk somewhere for the two weeks she is in transition.
As it happened, the week I told Andrea I was no longer going to use her services another au pair was kicked out of the home where she was living. This other au pair really had no place to go so she moved in the local area coordinator. If Andrea went to live with the coordinator, she would be sleeping on their floor. I took pity on all of them and allowed Andrea to stay with me. I can't imagine it would have been comfortable for any of them if two transitional au pairs had to move into this families home.
At the end of Andrea's allowed two week transition period there was a family in Oklahoma that was considering hiring Andrea. The agency told Andrea she could stay a little longer than her two weeks if she found a place to stay. Andrea asked me if she could continue to stay with me. I told her she could stay until Friday. That was three days ago.
In the mean time, Elizabeth's graduation from kindergarten is coming up at the end of this week. My mom and my grandma said they wanted to come so they can see Elizabeth do her little speaking part at the graduation. Then I was notified that I had to attend an off-site meeting for work. I have a friend that homeschools and she said that I could let Elizabeth stay with them. My friend would be able to help Elizabeth with her school work so it wouldn't be like actually missing school.
But this week was a little different. This is the week leading up to kindergarten graduation and it is filled with parties -- like one day is wear your PJ's to school -- and lots of practice sessions for graduation. It really wasn't a week that would be easy for her to miss. So I asked my mom to come out a few days early so she could watch Elizabeth while I was gone.
So, back to Andrea. On Friday Andrea didn't move out. When I got home from work she was off to see friends and I didn't get to see her. Saturday morning I reminded her that my mom and my grandma were coming on Sunday and I wanted her to be out so I could prepare the room for my mom. Andrea said she was going to use my car to go to the gym and then she would leave. That was at 10 AM on Saturday. Andrea didn't come back at all during the day. Around 7PM Elizabeth and I arrived home from grocery shopping. We passed Andrea coming out of our house to go off and have dinner with a friend. I went to bed at 12:30 - 1:00 AM and Andrea had not come back for her belongings.
So much for getting the room ready for my mom...
Sunday morning I confronted Andrea and told her I wanted all of my keys back and that she had to leave. I tried to recover my house keys, my mail box keys, and my car keys. Andrea explained that she was going to church, having lunch with her friends, and attending some kind of prayer meeting or class. She wanted to keep my keys and use my car. I was very clear with her. I said I was leaving at 3PM and she needed to have my keys back to me before I left. She couldn't or wouldn't promise that she would be back by then. But after some negotiation, she ended up with my car keys. I was late for my church and if I didn't let her use my car I would have left her stranded and angry alone at my home. It seemed like a no-win choice... so I let her use my car.
Andrea did come back by 3 PM. She gave me my keys back. Then she said she was going to eat something and go to the home where she will be staying with friends.
My mom got to my house. I got her organized and took off for my business trip. At 11 PM my cell phone rings. Andrea said that she had not taken any of her belongings out of my house and she needed to get some clothes. I told her that was unacceptable. My mom and my grandma are more than a bit paranoid. They go to bed early and they startle easily. I told her she would have to wait until I got home on Tuesday night to get her belongings. I had a bad feeling about this... I tried to call my mom and warn her that Andrea may show up. But they had already gone to bed and didn't answer the phone.
The place where I'm staying only has spotty cell reception. It's a miracle that Andrea's call got through last night. There is one spot in the parking lot where you can get fairly good cell reception. You have to wear a hat made out of tin foil and coat hangers, but you get reception. At the breaks today everyone was running out to the parking lot to find this spot. I didn't get a good cell single until lunch time. I called my voice mail and there were 17 messages from my mom.
It turns out that Andrea did go to my house last night AFTER I told her not to do it. My mom swears she locked the doors, but somehow Andrea got into my house. She went inside and woke up my mom. My mom was terrified. Can you imagine being in someone else's house and having a "strange" woman wake you up in the middle of the night? My mom was livid. She has been driving me crazy with messages and paranoid thoughts... Andrea is stealing from me. Andrea is an alcoholic. Andrea will stalk me until the end of time.
I'm livid, too. I believe there are a lot of good reasons to be really, really pissed with Andrea. But my mom is making me just as crazy. It's like a two pronged attack.
I have tried to call Andrea several times today to yell at her. I've left several angry messages on her cell phone. I've called the local area coordinator and complained. I told her she has to find out how Andrea got into my house... did she keep a copy of my keys? This is outrageous. Why is it that you can't be nice to people? Oh heck, I think I'm going to go call and leave another angry message on Andrea's cell phone. I deserve and apology!
As it happened, the week I told Andrea I was no longer going to use her services another au pair was kicked out of the home where she was living. This other au pair really had no place to go so she moved in the local area coordinator. If Andrea went to live with the coordinator, she would be sleeping on their floor. I took pity on all of them and allowed Andrea to stay with me. I can't imagine it would have been comfortable for any of them if two transitional au pairs had to move into this families home.
At the end of Andrea's allowed two week transition period there was a family in Oklahoma that was considering hiring Andrea. The agency told Andrea she could stay a little longer than her two weeks if she found a place to stay. Andrea asked me if she could continue to stay with me. I told her she could stay until Friday. That was three days ago.
In the mean time, Elizabeth's graduation from kindergarten is coming up at the end of this week. My mom and my grandma said they wanted to come so they can see Elizabeth do her little speaking part at the graduation. Then I was notified that I had to attend an off-site meeting for work. I have a friend that homeschools and she said that I could let Elizabeth stay with them. My friend would be able to help Elizabeth with her school work so it wouldn't be like actually missing school.
But this week was a little different. This is the week leading up to kindergarten graduation and it is filled with parties -- like one day is wear your PJ's to school -- and lots of practice sessions for graduation. It really wasn't a week that would be easy for her to miss. So I asked my mom to come out a few days early so she could watch Elizabeth while I was gone.
So, back to Andrea. On Friday Andrea didn't move out. When I got home from work she was off to see friends and I didn't get to see her. Saturday morning I reminded her that my mom and my grandma were coming on Sunday and I wanted her to be out so I could prepare the room for my mom. Andrea said she was going to use my car to go to the gym and then she would leave. That was at 10 AM on Saturday. Andrea didn't come back at all during the day. Around 7PM Elizabeth and I arrived home from grocery shopping. We passed Andrea coming out of our house to go off and have dinner with a friend. I went to bed at 12:30 - 1:00 AM and Andrea had not come back for her belongings.
So much for getting the room ready for my mom...
Sunday morning I confronted Andrea and told her I wanted all of my keys back and that she had to leave. I tried to recover my house keys, my mail box keys, and my car keys. Andrea explained that she was going to church, having lunch with her friends, and attending some kind of prayer meeting or class. She wanted to keep my keys and use my car. I was very clear with her. I said I was leaving at 3PM and she needed to have my keys back to me before I left. She couldn't or wouldn't promise that she would be back by then. But after some negotiation, she ended up with my car keys. I was late for my church and if I didn't let her use my car I would have left her stranded and angry alone at my home. It seemed like a no-win choice... so I let her use my car.
Andrea did come back by 3 PM. She gave me my keys back. Then she said she was going to eat something and go to the home where she will be staying with friends.
My mom got to my house. I got her organized and took off for my business trip. At 11 PM my cell phone rings. Andrea said that she had not taken any of her belongings out of my house and she needed to get some clothes. I told her that was unacceptable. My mom and my grandma are more than a bit paranoid. They go to bed early and they startle easily. I told her she would have to wait until I got home on Tuesday night to get her belongings. I had a bad feeling about this... I tried to call my mom and warn her that Andrea may show up. But they had already gone to bed and didn't answer the phone.
The place where I'm staying only has spotty cell reception. It's a miracle that Andrea's call got through last night. There is one spot in the parking lot where you can get fairly good cell reception. You have to wear a hat made out of tin foil and coat hangers, but you get reception. At the breaks today everyone was running out to the parking lot to find this spot. I didn't get a good cell single until lunch time. I called my voice mail and there were 17 messages from my mom.
It turns out that Andrea did go to my house last night AFTER I told her not to do it. My mom swears she locked the doors, but somehow Andrea got into my house. She went inside and woke up my mom. My mom was terrified. Can you imagine being in someone else's house and having a "strange" woman wake you up in the middle of the night? My mom was livid. She has been driving me crazy with messages and paranoid thoughts... Andrea is stealing from me. Andrea is an alcoholic. Andrea will stalk me until the end of time.
I'm livid, too. I believe there are a lot of good reasons to be really, really pissed with Andrea. But my mom is making me just as crazy. It's like a two pronged attack.
I have tried to call Andrea several times today to yell at her. I've left several angry messages on her cell phone. I've called the local area coordinator and complained. I told her she has to find out how Andrea got into my house... did she keep a copy of my keys? This is outrageous. Why is it that you can't be nice to people? Oh heck, I think I'm going to go call and leave another angry message on Andrea's cell phone. I deserve and apology!
posted by Liz at 8:53 PM
2 Comments:
Wow - I know it's a pain but I'd consider changing the locks at this point. But that doesn't help with the car keys. Has she gotten her things out yet?
I'd be really pissed about her running around having lunch with friends, going to the gym, etc. when she should be getting her crap out. The whole situation is completely unacceptable.
Forget angry messages. Forget getting an apology. Andrea has shown herself to be highly manipulative, and a liar, and if you're feeling kind, merely put her stuff out on the corner and pray for a rain. If you're not feeling kind, away to the dump it goes.
(of course, that's easy for me to say. I don't imagine I'd have the guts to do it!)
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