And then the Christian girl kicks her when she's down...
Why is it that strangers have such power to hurt us?Tonight I got an email from someone that I've never met. This self-professed Christian "sister" decided that she was going to "help" me by telling me that I'm "self-absorbed and petulant, and not at all encouraging." She implied that I don't think about others and that I'm causing people that I care about to endure additional stress and heartache. She said that these dear friend(s) of mine "just doesn't NEED this added and unnecessary stress."
I'm sitting here shaking... I alternate between raging anger, extreme hurt and distress, and utter disbelief. This person had the audacity to send me a six paragraph harangue about all my bad points and how I was hurting others... I can't believe that this total stranger has decided to play cop to the world. One minute I'm crying so hard I couldn't see clearly enough to count my pills out even if I wanted to. The next minute I just want to punch my fist into something... preferably the above reference Christian sister.
You know, maybe I am self-absorbed because all I can think is, "God, her timing sucks!"
posted by Liz at 12:16 AM
9 Comments:
We're all self absorbed! Even the self-proclaimed therapists who have the need to fix others are often doing it out of ego needs. I'm getting more comfortable with the fact that God designed us with some degree of self absorbtion as a survival skill. You've been through a lot in life and reflecting on the things you've experienced makes you look inward. So what? That's healthy!
I don't know the specifics of what the beyotch was hassling you about but what a snit to contact someone they don't know and try to straighten them out! That's such a hateful thing to do. If a friend has something they need to deal with you about - it's the 'Christian' thing for it to be between you and them - not this ...(I don't know enough ugly names so someone fill in the blank for me thanks).
Besides, if you've vented to someone else about stuff going on in your life - you have every right to! You've had things to vent about!
Grrrrr... I can't believe the nerve!
Oh Sweetie! (I went back and counted the paragraphs on my email to make sure I hadn't said something that had been taken wrong! I meant it as encouragement, not discouragement! Whew! 2, not 6!!)
Hon, you didn't deserve that, at all. You are precious and lovely and loveable ... and you are loved by the God of this universe!
Please please please ... take a deep breath, and consider the source ... and if you need me, email me. I am praying for you! I do care!! * hugs & prayer*
This is beginning to seem like a pattern - people hurting my friends when they're vulnerable. And all in situations where it seems like I can do nothing but pray and encourage. Well, Liz, this sucks, and you don't deserve it, and WTF????? How does this twit even "know" you? Is there some "targets for spiritual abuse" website out there where idiots feeling the need to hurt others can go to find people to disapprove of (and other idiots scanning the blogosphere to populate that site)? eDissonance.com or something? Bah. This is a cruel joke, and it's bound to cut and produce tears, but all it really deserves is to be put in the trash with something really smelly from the far back corner of the fridge.
God loves you, we love you, and this chick is full of it.
Peace,
Mike
She's to be pitied. Though it's hard to say that about someone when they've just cut you.
I'm sorry. :(
Hey everyone ... let's all take a deep breath and remember the grace we've been given in Christ before letting fly. I'm trying to mediate the whole situation ... so please relax and pray for Liz and the other person. Pray for reconciliation and grace. Pray for all of us down here on this earthly bound ... this vision that we have of a mirror darkly would be enough to get us through to the reality of the Kingdom Come.
I want to thank you all for your support. It means more to me than I can possibly express! I think it's important that we support each other and hopefully we can do it without continuing to spread the hurt around.
I admit my post was exceptionally emotional - frankly uncharacteristically emotional for me. The emotions were real... so I completely understand how and why people are reacting to my words. But I'd like to ask that we try not to hurt this other person in our attempts support each other. I guess my request now might seem a little too little and a little too late... but I'm trying really hard to move past this (heck, I only cry every other time I think about it now and soon I'll only cry every 2.50 times.) But I keep trying to remind myself that regardless of the actual affect this woman had... her desire was to help someone else I care about.
So, I will gladly accept all of your support and your prayers (Lord knows I need prayers) and I ask you to join me in a prayer that something good comes from this and that everyone involved grows in some way.
I love you guys! I really, really do!
I apologize to everyone involved, especially the woman who wrote the letter - this is the third time in as many days that someone I care about felt kicked when they were down, in fairly significant ways. Honestly, it's beginning to piss me off, but that's no excuse. I overreacted and I'm sorry for my harsh words. Of course there are at least two sides to this story, as with any story, and of course I completely disregarded John 13:34-35, which is pretty darned hypocritical of me since I like to preach on that New Commandment as if I knew something about it.
I really am sorry, sister, whoever you are. I typed in anger, which I should never do. Please forgive me. I do stand by the positive things I said about Liz! I wish you both Christ's love, comfort, and strength.
And thanks, LightLady, for shining some light.
Peace,
Mike
whoa... did I miss something? Well, Liz, I care about you and will pray for you on my long commute this morning.
Ok from all the comments following on here I'm completely confused. I guess I'm with Israel - missed something!
Anyways, I have no idea who the stranger is and don't need to. I just posted my comment originally solely based on the information in the original post.
Anyways - I'll probably always be on the defensive of friends when complete strangers go on the attack and leave them shaken. And I don't want any of my friends to feel beat down - I'd rather they feel indignant than beat down. In the end there is forgiveness but my first reaction to what I read here was to fortify my friends' sense of confidence.
It kind of sounds like maybe this is someone there now reconciliation with so they will no longer be a complete stranger? From the original post it didn't sound like you've ever known them or will ever know them again?? More just a drive by hateful sermon.
Anyways, I hope it all resolves for you Liz and I hope I've shed some light on why I posted what I did. I feel like I commented on one topic but then it turns out that it's something completely different from the other responses. I don't know. I'm confused but it looks like something that is not my business. I hope it does all resolve positively though for you Liz.
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