Really, really bad night...
My original plan was to title this post with some reference to winning the bad mommy award - but as I've thought about it, I realized this is much deeper than making light of a screw up. Today - particularly this evening - has been down right awful. Some might even say f**ked-up.
It started a couple of days ago. There are a lot of story lines that come here, so I hope I can explain everything without causing mass confusion. But if you do find this hard to follow - please be patient with me. My mind is racing... I'm going to try to pull this apart as best I can.
As you may know, this is the last full week of school for Elizabeth. There are all kinds of activities. Tonight the first grade put on a play for the parents. It was in the auditorium with costumes and mics and lights and set design, and everything. They put on a series of Aesop's Fables. Elizabeth was the narrator for the Boy who Cried Wolf. Her skit lasted about 8 - 10 minutes, but she had the most lines in the skit. She spoke almost the entire time. She needed to be at the theater at 6PM to put on costumes, set up, and stuff like that. The actual play started at 6:30.
A couple of days ago the VP of IT sent an email to my boss. The two VPs had a meeting scheduled and the IT-lady insisted that I attend the meeting as well. This was kind of an honor that the IT-lady considered my opinion valuable enough that she wanted me there in addition to my boss. Aside from the pat on the back, there were also some political reasons why I needed to attend this meeting when summoned.
But here's the problem... this meeting was already scheduled for 5 - 6 PM this evening. I had it pretty much worked out - the SACC lady can only "release" Elizabeth to an "approved" adult. So, I talked with Elizabeth's teacher and she was willing to be the official person to pick up Elizabeth. But she was going to be swamped with set-up so the SACC lady agreed to take Elizabeth to gym. I even brought in a frozen dinner so Elizabeth could have something before the play. I figured that if I left by 6:05 - based on past experience - I could reasonably be at the play in time for the 6:30 curtain. Things seem OK - right?
So, here's the other story... I'm supporting a contract negotiation. The contract is being negotiated by outside counsel, but our OGC (office of general council) is also involved. For the last couple of weeks I've been at the beck and call of the outside counsel.
There is this one particular thing we want the vendor to do. We'll call this thing "file." There is a regulation that instructs some firms to file. File isn't exactly what the regulation talks about, but I'm being purposefully vague so don't worry about. All you need to know is that we are currently "filed." A few months ago - actually many months ago I raised a concern... should our vendor file, too. A group of us went round and round on this question. The group was made up of my boss, another VP, and some other folks. The problem is in the wording of the regulation. There is nothing that is specifically on point for our current situation. But after lots of meetings, gnashing of teeth, and spirited debate the team decided that the vendor had to file. Right after that, I communicated this to the vendor.
On Monday the vendor's lawyer pushed back. They don't want to file. They don't think they need to file. Yesterday I confidently defended the position that the vendor had to file. But the vendor was still unhappy so they pushed back to my boss. My boss immediately turned around and said - "Oh no, they don't need to file. There is no good reason for it." But, the outside counsel had heard my arguments on Monday and he was uncomfortable that he as getting two opinions on two different days - especially since I had already said my boss had been part of the decision making team. (And I won't even talk about how under cut I personally felt at being contradicted in this curcumsance.)
The uncomfortable lawyer decided to call OGC. The OGC lawyer asked one of the other guys who was on the original team for more clarification. But that guy was not a computer guy. He specializes in the regulations for another part of the business. He had heard that my boss changed her mind but he didn't understand the underlying reasons. So when asked by OGC, he basically said the reason was, "because she said so." Being a rational thinker, OGC was not happy with this answer so she called me.
She had no history on the subject - she just knew that we had asked the vendor to do this, they didn't want to do it, and my boss said OK. So I gave her the whole history. I laid it all out for her. I told her that my boss didn't think they needed to file and I clearly explained why. The she pulled out the regulation and we walked through the regulation word by word. We used the glossary section to understand how the feds were using certain terms. We went through the same process that the original team did a couple of months ago. I tried my best to be impartial and to not unduly sway the conversation - but OGC came to the same conclusion - they have to file. So she said she would follow-up with outside counsel.
So fast forward to my 5PM meeting. It was a mess. There was a location miscommunication. The meeting was actually in a building two blocks from the building where my boss and I were waiting for the meeting to occur. When we figured out the screw-up, it was already late and the IT-lady said we could have the meeting as a conference call. But my boss said it had to be face to face. So by the time we got to the real meeting place it was after 5:30. I said I had a hard stop - that I had to leave. But the meeting didn't go as planned and I didn't get out until 6:15 and it was raining and there was an accident on a road near mine, so traffic backed up on my road... I didn't get to the school until 6:50 and Elizabeth's play was over.
I MISSED THE WHOLE THING! (I'm sure you saw that coming from a mile away.)
As I was running in I saw a girl from Elizabeh's class and I asked if the Boy who Cried Wolf had gone. Before she could say "yes." I had burst into hysterical tears. I went into the theater. Elizabeth was supposed to sit with her class, but I called her over and just hugged her and cried and apologized. She didn't seem that upset... but that's just not the kind of mom I want to be - and hell I'm crying again.
But Elizabeth kept saying it was OK and she said I would enjoy the other fables so she wanted me to find a chair to watch then she went back to sit with her class. I found a chair, but I don't remember a single fable. I was crying so hard I'm pretty sure the people next to me also have no clue what the other fables were. After the play I cried when Elizabeth's teacher asked me if I got there on time and I wailed when one of the mother's came over to tell Elizabeth how fantastic she was. It was quite a spectacle. Finally I pulled myself together and told Elizabeth I would take her out for a desert.
Elizabeth is a pretty sharp cookie - as soon as I said I would take her out for desert she said, "Well, I think we should stop at Toys R Us so you can buy me a toy, too." Toys R Us is kinda far away so we settled on a toy from CVS. In addition to her desert (choc. chip cookies) and toy she also got a Sprite, french fries, a candy bar, cotton candy, and I feel like I'm forgetting something... Clearly she has my number - no wonder she wasn't upset I missed the performance.
But my story isn't over... as we were getting desert I got an email from my boss. She is majorly pissed at me. Through one channel or another she has learned about my conversation with OGC. Her email is fairly short and terse - her feelings come through loud and clear. She thinks I did an end-run on her and stabbed her in the back. She wants me to call her early in the morning she we can "talk" about this.
I am beside myself. I'm sure it's a timing thing. I'm sure if I weren't already a basket case because I missed the play I would be able to handle her email with more aplomb, but I did and I can't. Here it is 4:40 AM and sleep is no where near my little head. You know, if anyone should be pissed - I'm the one who was made to look like a fool after having been assured that we were all in agreement. I didn't call anyone - they have hunted me down. I haven't done anything wrong - but I'm surely going to get screwed. If not this morning, it's coming. I don't know when and I don't why... I just know it is.
It started a couple of days ago. There are a lot of story lines that come here, so I hope I can explain everything without causing mass confusion. But if you do find this hard to follow - please be patient with me. My mind is racing... I'm going to try to pull this apart as best I can.
As you may know, this is the last full week of school for Elizabeth. There are all kinds of activities. Tonight the first grade put on a play for the parents. It was in the auditorium with costumes and mics and lights and set design, and everything. They put on a series of Aesop's Fables. Elizabeth was the narrator for the Boy who Cried Wolf. Her skit lasted about 8 - 10 minutes, but she had the most lines in the skit. She spoke almost the entire time. She needed to be at the theater at 6PM to put on costumes, set up, and stuff like that. The actual play started at 6:30.
A couple of days ago the VP of IT sent an email to my boss. The two VPs had a meeting scheduled and the IT-lady insisted that I attend the meeting as well. This was kind of an honor that the IT-lady considered my opinion valuable enough that she wanted me there in addition to my boss. Aside from the pat on the back, there were also some political reasons why I needed to attend this meeting when summoned.
But here's the problem... this meeting was already scheduled for 5 - 6 PM this evening. I had it pretty much worked out - the SACC lady can only "release" Elizabeth to an "approved" adult. So, I talked with Elizabeth's teacher and she was willing to be the official person to pick up Elizabeth. But she was going to be swamped with set-up so the SACC lady agreed to take Elizabeth to gym. I even brought in a frozen dinner so Elizabeth could have something before the play. I figured that if I left by 6:05 - based on past experience - I could reasonably be at the play in time for the 6:30 curtain. Things seem OK - right?
So, here's the other story... I'm supporting a contract negotiation. The contract is being negotiated by outside counsel, but our OGC (office of general council) is also involved. For the last couple of weeks I've been at the beck and call of the outside counsel.
There is this one particular thing we want the vendor to do. We'll call this thing "file." There is a regulation that instructs some firms to file. File isn't exactly what the regulation talks about, but I'm being purposefully vague so don't worry about. All you need to know is that we are currently "filed." A few months ago - actually many months ago I raised a concern... should our vendor file, too. A group of us went round and round on this question. The group was made up of my boss, another VP, and some other folks. The problem is in the wording of the regulation. There is nothing that is specifically on point for our current situation. But after lots of meetings, gnashing of teeth, and spirited debate the team decided that the vendor had to file. Right after that, I communicated this to the vendor.
On Monday the vendor's lawyer pushed back. They don't want to file. They don't think they need to file. Yesterday I confidently defended the position that the vendor had to file. But the vendor was still unhappy so they pushed back to my boss. My boss immediately turned around and said - "Oh no, they don't need to file. There is no good reason for it." But, the outside counsel had heard my arguments on Monday and he was uncomfortable that he as getting two opinions on two different days - especially since I had already said my boss had been part of the decision making team. (And I won't even talk about how under cut I personally felt at being contradicted in this curcumsance.)
The uncomfortable lawyer decided to call OGC. The OGC lawyer asked one of the other guys who was on the original team for more clarification. But that guy was not a computer guy. He specializes in the regulations for another part of the business. He had heard that my boss changed her mind but he didn't understand the underlying reasons. So when asked by OGC, he basically said the reason was, "because she said so." Being a rational thinker, OGC was not happy with this answer so she called me.
She had no history on the subject - she just knew that we had asked the vendor to do this, they didn't want to do it, and my boss said OK. So I gave her the whole history. I laid it all out for her. I told her that my boss didn't think they needed to file and I clearly explained why. The she pulled out the regulation and we walked through the regulation word by word. We used the glossary section to understand how the feds were using certain terms. We went through the same process that the original team did a couple of months ago. I tried my best to be impartial and to not unduly sway the conversation - but OGC came to the same conclusion - they have to file. So she said she would follow-up with outside counsel.
So fast forward to my 5PM meeting. It was a mess. There was a location miscommunication. The meeting was actually in a building two blocks from the building where my boss and I were waiting for the meeting to occur. When we figured out the screw-up, it was already late and the IT-lady said we could have the meeting as a conference call. But my boss said it had to be face to face. So by the time we got to the real meeting place it was after 5:30. I said I had a hard stop - that I had to leave. But the meeting didn't go as planned and I didn't get out until 6:15 and it was raining and there was an accident on a road near mine, so traffic backed up on my road... I didn't get to the school until 6:50 and Elizabeth's play was over.
I MISSED THE WHOLE THING! (I'm sure you saw that coming from a mile away.)
As I was running in I saw a girl from Elizabeh's class and I asked if the Boy who Cried Wolf had gone. Before she could say "yes." I had burst into hysterical tears. I went into the theater. Elizabeth was supposed to sit with her class, but I called her over and just hugged her and cried and apologized. She didn't seem that upset... but that's just not the kind of mom I want to be - and hell I'm crying again.
But Elizabeth kept saying it was OK and she said I would enjoy the other fables so she wanted me to find a chair to watch then she went back to sit with her class. I found a chair, but I don't remember a single fable. I was crying so hard I'm pretty sure the people next to me also have no clue what the other fables were. After the play I cried when Elizabeth's teacher asked me if I got there on time and I wailed when one of the mother's came over to tell Elizabeth how fantastic she was. It was quite a spectacle. Finally I pulled myself together and told Elizabeth I would take her out for a desert.
Elizabeth is a pretty sharp cookie - as soon as I said I would take her out for desert she said, "Well, I think we should stop at Toys R Us so you can buy me a toy, too." Toys R Us is kinda far away so we settled on a toy from CVS. In addition to her desert (choc. chip cookies) and toy she also got a Sprite, french fries, a candy bar, cotton candy, and I feel like I'm forgetting something... Clearly she has my number - no wonder she wasn't upset I missed the performance.
But my story isn't over... as we were getting desert I got an email from my boss. She is majorly pissed at me. Through one channel or another she has learned about my conversation with OGC. Her email is fairly short and terse - her feelings come through loud and clear. She thinks I did an end-run on her and stabbed her in the back. She wants me to call her early in the morning she we can "talk" about this.
I am beside myself. I'm sure it's a timing thing. I'm sure if I weren't already a basket case because I missed the play I would be able to handle her email with more aplomb, but I did and I can't. Here it is 4:40 AM and sleep is no where near my little head. You know, if anyone should be pissed - I'm the one who was made to look like a fool after having been assured that we were all in agreement. I didn't call anyone - they have hunted me down. I haven't done anything wrong - but I'm surely going to get screwed. If not this morning, it's coming. I don't know when and I don't why... I just know it is.
posted by Liz at 3:45 AM
1 Comments:
Liz, so sorry to hear about a terrible set of events. I know what it is like to be in hot water at work due to misunderstandings. I am glad to see from your post above that things might be working out better than expected. Hang in there!
Ken
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